my oh my never wanna say goodbye!

It was too beautiful out to be inside today, but alas, life is not fair. That's why I have a job. But you know what, it's not fair to judge either. I may work with people who have deficiencies, but they're happy and chatty. They might not always say or act or do the right thing, but after all, nobody's perfect.

I just came back from the gym. I bought a pass after buying my bathing suit. Gotta get rid of those suit fears somehow! Plus, it seems to go hand in hand. Besides, I love the gym, it's so motivating and I love to run. 

I went outside for my break today-of course! It was hot and windy and awesome!

Hahaha. I love myself. This is dorky and I'm nutty!

just when you thought i was crazy

I have a swim suit phobia. Ok. So it's not really a fear and more like an insecurity but hey, what can I say? When it comes to some things, I'm just like everybody else.

I bought lots of stuff today. Shades times 3.

I love to dance, oh yes boogie wonderland. I won a contest at my hometown joint without knowing it. Coors light girls came up to me and said: "we need more people like you around here!" They handed me a gift card to bikini village. This all makes sense because that night the bar was decked out in Hawaiian; it was a beach party theme.

I really don't enjoy prancing around in little strings in public. First of all, it makes me very nervous that my lovely lady lumps stress a delicate string and ga-glump. Out pops a bump. Scary. The other reasons, while I must say there are a few, run along the lines of embarrassing, shy, don't like my body naked that much, cellulite... 

So today I trucked on down to BV and bought a bikini. Guess what. Did you know the mirrors inside the cabins at bikini village have a sepia tint to them? It's amazing! The owners purposefully tinted the glass to make the shoppers' reflection appear tan, blemish-less and pretty much perfect. The mirror completely erases all imperfections. Although it makes you feel good while you're trying on the bathing suits, which can often be very unpleasant if you detest your own self image, it is very unrealistic. A tactic to enhance sales for sure. Whatever, I haven't owned a bathing suit since I was 14, so this gift card was a kick in the butt for me. Just get a suit Sarah, you're not that bad. Now that I have it, wearing it is going to be the hard part. 

All in all though, what a lovely gift! It' s so cute and colorful! :)

what color do you feel like today?

Recently, I have a growing fantasy to own 1, ooo, ooo different colors:



In the last few years I've been really conscious on setting myself free of materialism. I would be lying if I said I loved myself 100%. I mean, yes, there are days when I feel less-than-flawless and I admit to having tried a number of different beauty services. I used to get acrylic nails a lot because I used to bite my real nails to the skin. I wanted to feel more girly, which in the end, made me feel prettier. With time, I've completely stopped biting my nails. They're still a little weak and break sometimes, but I have got them long most times au naturel, and they will strengthen in time. I stopped wearing nail polish for a while so that my nails could recover from the super-toxic-badness of acrylic. But now, suddenly, I have these crazy urges to buy nail polish in every color and wild variations! Yesterday my nails were black: they made me feel edgy and chic. Today, they are a very light, baby pink: they make me feel very girly and gentle. I have beautiful nails, and they are my own :) And I paint them sometimes when I'm feeling colorful ;)

I work on self-love everyday. Feels so good to throw that nail-doubt, out!

I LOVE MY REAL NAILS!
♥