im about to dump my head out

When things get bottled up in my brain, its not good. I think about a lot of things and they float around until I write them down. Once its on paper its all good, I am less stressed. I stress very easily. I used to have big problems. Dust stresses me out, and it used to stress me out to the point that even if I was late for work at 8h00 am in the morning, if I saw dust, I would have to clean it. Every time I saw something crooked or misplaced I would have to straighten it out. I still have big problems with making the bed, the curtains and the place mats on my table. The cushions on my couch too. It drives me crazy but I can't help it. Sometimes I place the shoes on our entrance rug without even freaking noticing. It keeps me from being on time and living normally. I could be in the middle of watching a movie, but if my eye sees a chair not pushed in at the table, its too late. I have to get up and push it, yes, just to sit back down again and enjoy the rest of the movie. Some people don't understand. The cupboard doors have to be closed, dishes always need to be done, the drying cloth needs to be hanged right, the garbage can is crooked, the pictures are slanted... I am very visual and things in my sight need to be very near perfect, clean and orderly. I am better though, I used to be really crazy. As I mentioned, my loose thoughts stress me out and I used to make lists of the things I was going to do in chronological order a day in advance and write down the times at which these things would occur to help myself cope with the relentless stress.  I used to jog in the morning and I would meet my friend at 6h30 am. Here's an example of the list I would leave on my night stand.

Wake up - 6h00 am

Put clothes on - 6h01 am

Put deodorant on - 6h03 am

Put perfume on - 6h04 am

Brush teeth - 6h05 am

etc...

And if I was late by a minute doing any one of these tasks, I would be very stressed out.

But like I said, I don't do this anymore. I still make daily lists in my notebook but there are no longer any times and I am no longer overly stressed if I don't accomplish everything. I even forget some days. 

But... I am a little stressed because I am a little behind in life. I have a beautiful friend in Uganda who had written me a novel of an email about her amazing and lovely experience who I have yet to get back to and I missed the premiere of the music video I was in and I have yet to write a life long message to an old school teacher of mine that I adore and adored me. He wrote to me at least over 2 weeks ago dying to know what I was up to and my lazy self is in procrastination overdrive. Yuck. My car muffler needs to be replaced immediately because I have already had a warning from a cop on my way to work 4 days ago and he gave me 3 days to fix it. If I get pulled over again for loud car parts, I'm doomed with a fine. I need to do groceries. I need to call my sister and Sweat Pea. What else? I think thats it. I need to get my notebook because tomorrow I have the day off and I will be doing all this important stuff. Ok, I kinda feel better now. Thanks. Would you like some recent photo's of me? Okay you twisted my arm! I went for a nice meal and walk the other night...

As I always say, I hope to be back again soon with the inside scoop on my very fun and busy life!

Hello Internet. It's me, Sarah Katie Holmes and I'm funny.

I've been gone for ages once again, but seriously, what's new? Let's not linger on that, although I do miss the days when I was blogging daily. Makes me feel so good. I've been going out a lot lately. I love it. I love to dance. I don't drink, I just sweat. I love dancing with my sister.

Guess what!? I bought a new mattress and boxspring! It's awwwwesome. I have the most freaking comfortable mattress in all the universe. Don't even try to debate. But seriously, its wonderland.

Firstly we snagged a super deal: 40% rebate on a Simmons Beauty Rest mattress. It has individual pocket coils, and that translated means this: Let's say you and I are laying side by side on my mattress (you wish). If you decide to bounce your body up and down like a 5 year old next to me, get this, I don't feel a thing! Well, a teeny tiny super miniscule smidgeon. It's so comfy and I'm in love. You should have seen me a few hours ago. I was kinda feeling like Miss Alba in Good Luck Chuck. Remember the way Jess talks about how she just "loves loves loves" penguins?

In other VIP news a music video I star in as the lead gal comes out June 12th for a CD Release/Launch party! Will post asap.

Yawn. Me so sleepy. See you tomorrow? 

old news is still hot news.

Cheeeeeese Whiz. Dang it's been cold lately and the weather channel has been giving bogus reports. "Oh yes there's going to be a high today of 20 degrees..." Yeah, at 7hpm for 5 minutes. Sheesh. Yark I'm complaining! I don't like to complain, complainers suck BT. (big time)  I am just really counting on tomorrow for some positivity and sunshine. I have a lot of nice shirts that I would like to not hide under a sweat shirt or jacket please. They're saying 21 in the morning and 29 for the afternoon. If this comes through with no chilly wind I am in for such a spoiled treat! Sleep tight Montreal and tomorrow wear sunscreen! (excited!)

I just wanted to announce that my bestest friend in the whole wide world got MARRIED! For the last week, almost two weeks now, she's been a wifey to some lucky fellar! I told you all about the wedding though. Remember?

I feel like I gave her away! Sniff :(

She looked absolutely amazing.

Congratulations to Megan Brittany Savage and Benjamin Bouffard. May your love remain youthful and full of the little things. I wish ever lasting strength and hope to your team and all the cute little additions you make ;)

It was a lovely wedding followed by a scrumptious dinner and a happenin' reception!  A great start to a great life together. 

Haha. The End.

It`s not you it`s me.

This blog is supposed to be about happy things and it is. It`s about discovering things. Learning things. Loving things. Realizing things. Sharing things.

I love my life. I value my life. I think I have a beautiful life. I live with confidence and determination and hope. I believe that things can always change and that we can always make our lives better. I believe that love is real and strong and is the energy you cannot find when everything is wrong. I believe that we are the creators of our own love.

I may be away from posting for a while. As I said, this blog is about the happy things in my life. Yesterday, my family suffered an unthinkable family emergency. For the moment things are under control, and nobody has left us, but we are still dealing with the major consequences. I only write when I am happy, and for the moment nothing inside of me feels anywhere near happy, and things that did make me feel good, well, I just don`t feel the same when I think about them anymore. I may be away for a week at least but possibly more.

Life`s not always easy and it`s definitely not a fairy tale. Things happen, unexpectedly. I love my family and my heart hurts right now. It hurts a lot. I`m feeling like this is sticking to me hard and I`ve been tough a long time. I feel a wave coming on and I`m going away on sad vacation.

I hope to be back soon. Right now I have hearts and minds to help heal, as well as my own. I don`t have time for anything else; this is my main priority right now. Nothing is more important.

Be back soon friends.
Love, Sarah xo